My best friend and her husband are expecting their first child this winter. I offered to throw them a baby shower. They were not so keen about the whole thing when I approached them. Given that they are not the kind of people who like to be in the spotlight, I was not surprised. "I do not want our friends to think we are opportunists, just because we give them all baby shower invitations," they said. I understood their sentiment, as I too do not like the concept of the 5 bridal showers some brides throw that always seem to make guests fork out more than they are comfortable with. But a baby shower serves a very legitimate and community oriented purpose. A lot of brides and grooms are waiting until later in life to get married. Most of them are well established in their careers and already have everything they need for their homes. In the old days, young couples did not have much for their households and bridal showers helped fill that void. Guests receiving bridal shower invitations should be asked to help celebrate, not reach into their pocketbooks. Friends and family will always want to give gifts anyway, but you want them to feel unencumbered and inspired when doing so.
My friends who were against the idea of a baby shower were afraid of those same bridal shower expectations. I told them that sending out baby shower invitations would evoke joy and a desire to help celebrate in their friends and family. For couples who have never had children, the things that you need for a baby are not things you have on hand, no matter what your socio economic status. When you are expecting your first child, you have no idea what you need and where to start. By getting your friends and family together for a baby shower, you allow them to offer advice and give you items that will make your life so much easier. The only thing that kept our first baby sleeping happily at night was a sleep sack, yet we would have never even tried such a thing if someone had not given it to us as a shower gift. Shower invitations will also be received by people who have no idea what having a baby is like. You have now given them an excuse to buy something adorably printed with little doggies from Baby Gap.
I came up with an idea that was well received by my friends. Their guests received shower invitations that asked them to attend a "Knowledge and Myths" party. Guests were asked to contribute some kind of baby safety item (outlet protectors, baby gate, baby monitor, etc) and some kind of nursery supply item. Additionally, ahead of time, I sent an e mail to all those who received shower invitations requesting that they send me their favorite bit of helpful parenting advice and the silliest piece of advice they ever received. I took all the tidbits, had them professionally printed and bound, and gave them to the expectant couple. The books were a big hit and my friends adored that everyone shared such helpful information and entertaining tales. And they were very grateful for all the practical items and supplies that will make their life easier when the baby comes home. The baby shower invitations did not set forth any expectation of gifts beyond the scope of the theme. I think all the guests, however, happily brought additional baby gifts. But all the guests loved being asked to be helpful and contribute something. And that is the whole reason my friends wanted to get everyone together to help them celebrate such an exciting time in their lives.

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by: ginathompson
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